|
|
Thursday, July 24th, 2008
| |
10:45 am
|
|
| Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
| |
7:00 am
|
Sorry sorry!!!
In response to my last post: I faceplanted on the street. hurt times a million. especially my ego.
In other news, I finished classes yesterday. I have a final in four hours and another in a week, then I'm finished. My last day of work is th 31st. I fly home on the 5th.
As much as I am incredibly depressed about the situation, there are some very interesting things I'm starting to arrange upon my return. I guess every cloud has a silver lining. I have absolutely failed at life this last year. It will be good to take a break.
There is so much I want to write, so much I want to scream, so much I want to try and say, but I can't. I want to get the hell away, but I want to stay here forever. I don't even know anything at all. maybe it is for the best. There are so many thoughts just pounding in my head, trying their best to escape... and where am I? stuck somewhere in the middle of certainty and certain failure. I have rediscovered my passionate addiction to coffee, but it's not helping me at all. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to run, I want to fly.
I have nothing more.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, July 21st, 2008
| |
12:41 am
|
|
| Monday, July 14th, 2008
| |
3:50 pm
|
|
| Thursday, July 10th, 2008
| |
1:13 am
|
I feel like I have trained my entire life for a race, only to be disqualified before it begins because I'm wearing the wrong shoes.
For the first time in... I don't know how long, I'm really happy. I love my job, I'm comfortable in my apartment and my city, I have a wonderfully amazing boyfriend, I have a little money to play with, and I'm on relatively good terms with my mom.
Enjoy it while it lasts. In 26 days everything changes.
It is so difficult to enjoy when the future is so daunting and bleak.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, July 5th, 2008
| |
11:23 pm
|
I bought a watch today, and I'm really jazzed about it because it has some kanji on it, and I feel a little like... important maybe. it's stupid, simple kanji, but whatever. I was pretty dumb today, did a million things wrong, had to go back to the stores I shopped at to ask stupid questions about the things I had bought. I got everything done that I needed to, though.
My client this morning told me about a conference he went to at work that was promoting new items/inventions/products in Japan. Somethings he told me about are old news in America (eg, iphone) but he told me about some really cool things too. One thing I searched for today was an automatic pencil that rotates the lead every time you lift your pencil. This way it won't get dull on one side and leave big dark marks instead of neat, fine lines. It's called the Kuru Toga by Uni (maybe Uni-Ball in the States). It is way cool. Seriously.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
| |
9:37 pm
|
First: I love my job.
Second: I am so frustrated with my job. I don't want to rant about it because it will bring me down, but, yes, frustration. You know, you can always tell when something is amiss in a company, the way things are, the way people talk and act... We all love the work, but maybe the work place needs some renovating...
My life is very frustrating right now. (angry face)
Maybe I should just go back to America and curl up in my bed and pull the covers over my head.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, June 27th, 2008
| |
12:54 pm
|
|
Well, I got my first paycheck in Japan. I'm so proud and happy. but, I really have no idea how much I made. You see, I can't read Japanese...
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, June 23rd, 2008
| |
2:56 am
|
It's been a while since I've woken up in the middle of the night and can't sleep. My life feels like I'm treading water again. I am sure whatever happens will be an exciting adventure, though.
*tries to think positively*
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, June 19th, 2008
| |
2:06 pm
|
|
| Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
| |
4:56 pm
|
Wow.
I will be back in Seattle August 5! I have a whole list of things to do, and only three weeks in which to do it!
-Go shopping! I want clothes and jewelry and expensive shiny things... or really, just to be in an American mall.
-Go to the mountains
-Go to the ocean
-Go camping
-Meet my high school (etc) buddies at Denny's like the good ol' days
-Have cuddlefests with respective friends
-Buy books. In English.
-Go on a Ferryboat ride
-Meet, party, drink, catch up with everyone.
If anyone needs (wants) anything from here, let me know.
<3
|
|
(8 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
| |
2:27 pm
|
Oh man, dude, drugs are bad. But at least he's certain that Stonehenge wasn't made by aliens.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
2:10 pm
|
You know that part of today where I'm supposed to go to the immigration office and get a little stamp in my passport so I can remain legal in the country...? I think that would be much easier to accomplish if I could find my passport.
I am so, so, so fucked.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, May 25th, 2008
| |
5:58 pm
|
I have to walk ten minutes to the train station. (probably) Wait five minutes for the train because it's sunday. Ride the train for 9 minutes. Walk through the second busiest station in the world on a sunday evening (not really worth complaining about, actually) and to the store where I will buy a new notebook. Walk back through the station, wait for my train, ride for 9 minutes, and walk ten minutes home.
Alternatively, I could walk fifteen minutes to my local Wal-Mart-esque store, and see if they have the notebook that I want. Which I suspect they wont because it's a stupidly overpriced little notebook. BUT since my last page was used yesterday, I need a new notebook. Usually I remember to buy new ones before I'm out of pages, and I'm so eager to start the new notebook that I put a bunch of stupid stuff in it.
In other news I signed a 2-month employment contract yesterday. You know the kind where you print your name, sign it and your employer does the same? As he went to the other room to grab something, I wrote and signed my name. As I waited, I printed his name on the contract as well. He came back and acted shocked and surprised "What?! I'm supposed to write my own name!" And I laughed all over the place, and so did he. I think it's good to start working with a good sense of humor. He seems like a really nice guy, and it seems like such a great company.
So the song that keeps finding itself blasting out my ipod...
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, May 23rd, 2008
| |
12:26 am
|
FUCK YEAH!!!!
*twiddles thumbs*
I want to scream and shout and fucking tell everyone I see... but maybe I will jinx it...
I want you to give me hugs and jump up and down with me!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! :)
<33
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 22nd, 2008
| |
1:24 pm
|
*rubs eyes and looks at clock*
Fucking shit. it's 1:00. So much for the last class before midterms... damnnit.
I've been going through my old photos (from the last 18 months) and it is painstakingly obvious how incredibly much my style has changed. Maybe it's just because I have so much more invested in the present than I do in the past, but I feel like my photographs are becoming much more emotionally charged. No, not all of them, but the ones I pick out for portfolio material are just so much more... I'm really surprised and impressed with myself. I think my photographs are... I dont know. I'm really happy with it, though.
Since January, the photo I am most proud of is the one from the protest I went to. I love the energy trapped inside it, and I love how there's details in the background that add to the story. I love it.
Whereas my most proud of photo from last year at this time was much more artistic. Though there was a little technical challenge involved, it's a fairly simple photo. I think it's a fairly unique photo, but much more the kind of photo you'd see on a postcard.
I'm really proud of all my photos, I'm really proud of my blog. I love that I'm changing, and I can see it. Even when everything gets really difficult, it's pretty comforting to know that I have something that's always mine. You can't take away what I've lived through, that's something that is always mine.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
12:23 am
|
Angry, angry rant:
DO NOT FUCKING TRANSLATE SMALL TALK for me, thanks. It's the only japanese that I can manage to competently say (where do you live, how old are you, what school do you go to...), so please do not fucking translate it. ESPECIALLY if you weren't involved in any of the conversation to begin with, thanks. You know, when you translate, you prolly get the words right, but you completely miss the intonation. Specifically, tonight. I was doing ok for about an hour, but as we were saying goodbyes, someone jumps in to translate "see you later" which is usually the part where you're like, "hey can I have your number? We should hang out again." BUT when you translate such things literally, it's all wrong. And when someone translates, they speak far too quickly for me to catch everything. So, tonight, when my new friends asked to hang out again, it was literally translated, "They want you to come to their university." Which made absolutely no sense to me, since I clearly go to a different university. OH MY FUCKING SHIT. I realized on the train home they were actually asking me to hang out again. You know what got translated back? Something like "oh, she goes to a different university and her last train is really early, so she has to go." Goddamnit, I totally would have given them my number, they were so rad to talk to.
Rant #2:
I have horrible awful terrible no good very bad social skills. How bad? The kind where I relay strange conversations to my friends and they look at me like I'm crazy for being pissed off because really that's what people do/say when they want to be friends with you / like you. WTF?! bah. Maybe it has to do with being in Japan without language skills for so long, but MY FUCKING SHIT, I need to grow up.
I feel so awful about those kids I met earlier today, I really wish I had been better to them. I doubt I'll ever see them again, it makes me kind of sick to think about how horrible of miscommunication it was. I really did think they were cool, and if they wanted me to visit their university, that would have been so awesome. bah. I really, really doubt I will ever see them again. especially after basically rejecting their kindness (via translator). I am so pissed off at that and myself. Please let me try my best with Japanese. Unless it's official or of actual importance, I think I do ok with the bullshit. please let me try.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, May 18th, 2008
| |
7:29 pm
|
|
| |
3:11 am
|
Fuck you Kenichi. Perhaps I'm just senselessly bitter and perhaps I'm still nursing the alcohol in my system, but fuck you. You remember the part where you said it's been too long since we hung out, and I suggested we hang out today? You remember that you were happy that we would finally have some time to shoot photos and have some of those deep chats about life that are always so interesting? Do you remember that I prolly won't see you again after 7 weeks? Me too.
But I *don't* remember the part where you invite the girl you're crushing on.
Fuck you.
And this is the part where I meet my buddies at the bars, and realize that I am completely incapable of talking to women. it takes a certain kind of talent that I don't posses.
Maybe I'm childish and immature, I don't care. I'm pretty hurt, though. there aren't many people who I consider close friends...
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, May 16th, 2008
| |
7:37 pm
|
|
| Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
| |
11:55 pm
|
I miss Kayla.
Someone please tell her. I have no idea where she is anymore.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 8th, 2008
| |
2:01 am
|
great, just as I get comfortable enough to maybe go back to bed and sleep, we have another. seriously. hate this shit. hate it. The best part is that this one was even bigger and shakier. grand, isn't it? The Japanese government uses a different system to rate earthquakes besides magnitude. Their measure is how people feel it rather than how much the ground moves... It's called the Japan Meteorological Agency Seismic Intensity Scale
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
1:43 am
|
Despite the fact that I have a bloody exam in the morning that I very much have not studied enough for, I was jostled out of bed, and found myself curled under my desk because... we had an earthquake. No, I take that back. We had two, relatively medium-sized earthquakes. Which follow the three slightly smaller earthquakes this afternoon.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
| |
4:02 pm
|
|
| Monday, May 5th, 2008
| |
10:46 am
|
|
I swear to you I will kill the kid who lives upstairs and leaves his back door open and plays obnoxious music very loudly. I'm sure he doesn't realize how easily the sound travels and the sound waves bounce back into every open door on this side of the building. Every shut door, too. but the trouble is, because of the bouncing sound waves, I have no idea who to bitch at. damnit. It is so frustrating. Really, I didn't mind so much at first, but waking up to ...and I will always love yooooooou... is really not my idea of a good wake up. not that I completely hate that music, but, fuck that shit. shut your damn music off.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
| |
9:00 pm
|
I learned a new word today. Ok, so that in itself is not really at all notable. But I learned a very interesting word. The Japanese language is very, very intense. Not only are there three different character sets (plus the active use of letters a-z), but there are several sets of language within the language itself. For example, the most common use of this language change is perhaps similar to our use of "yeah" and "yes". The meaning is the same, but the former sounds a little sloppy if you are talking to people older than you or your boss or someone important. However, this kind of change takes place for every adjective and verb.
There is another kind of change that is *very* difficult. This is called Keego (kay-go). These are the words that you use when you speak to your boss or your professor. They're the words you use for respect, and they are entirely different from the normal words. For example, when we talk to eachother online, we use different language than if we were talking to each other face-to-face. (granted now it's fairly understood if you tell your friends "stufu" or "lol", but for the sake of my argument, pretend that it's five years ago when no one did that, thanks). and the words we use that are distinct to online communication, have many, many meanings. Take 'lol' for example, sometimes it means "yeah, that's funny" sometimes it means "uh-hu" sometimes it means "I'm bored" or "I'm not really listening to you" sometimes it means "wow, that's great, tell me more!". But of course the only way you can gather the meaning from the word, is if you have the context surrounding the word.
Since Keego is basically another vernacular entirely, there are fewer verbs. Another example, いらしゃいます (irashaimasu) means to go, to come, or to stay. eh, a little confusing no? So the new word I learned to day is one of these Keego words. But the meaning is even way more confusing, I promise.
The word 遣ります（やります）(yariemasu) means: To do, to have sexual intercourse, to kill, to give (animals, to inferiors), to do for, to send (someone), to dispatch, to move (something to), to row (a boat), (used in place of another verb) to have (to eat, drink, smoke), to study, to run or operate (a restaurant).
What a great word, no?
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, April 24th, 2008
| |
7:38 pm
|
I. am. so. fucking. exhausted.
I think I'm still sick. And who would have guessed that the english-speaking doctor accepts patients on an American-style system. fuck having to wait a week for an appointment. yeah. fuck that.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, April 20th, 2008
| |
4:12 pm
|
This video is in a convinence mart (prolly ampm or 7-11) about 40 minutes from my home. The gist of the video is that the man with the cold mask walks into the conbini and demands money while threatening the employee with a knife. Obviously, the thief demands money, and tells the clerk to open the register, but the clerk says he can't. It's his part-time job... and how easily the thief gives in...
And I thought living in Tokyo was safe... but at least I know I'm always being watched from all sides.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, April 17th, 2008
| |
4:09 pm
|
Would someone like to tell me why My Chemical Romance's music video Teenagers is "blocked in your country [Japan]" on YouTube?
( Lyrics )
Maybe it has something to do with the lyrics in relation to Japan? The modification of Japan's History texts regarding WWII, the harsh penalties for drug usage, the increasing military budget, the cameras everywhere, the increasing presence of the fascist parties... Or is there maybe something in the video (that I can't see) that is so controversial?
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, April 10th, 2008
| |
11:24 am
|
Dear lovely friends in The States,
Anyone want to go shopping for me? My ass is a little too big for Japan, and I hear it's gonna be a hot summer... I'll pay you for everything, of course.
XOXO
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
karmiaki's journal
